Confused

Sometimes things that happen in life makes you wonder if true friendship exists. I mean, I don't know about you guys but sometimes I lay in bed and piece together stories or events and try to figure out what that means. Like if somebody doing something means anything or what they're motives are. You can call it over thinking but I guess you can't really argue because that's what people do with their God-given brains.

Right now, I don't think I believe in the term "best friends". I mean, it sounds so alien to me now. What does that even mean? Honestly, you can't really have best friends anymore in this generation. People just step on you until they're above you and stomp you right down to the dirt after they're done with you. I don't believe that there will be that someone who will always be brutal honest with you anymore. It's really rare to get a best friend now. Though, I'm not saying there aren't exceptions out there but right now, it sure seems like none. One minute you have a best friend who you tell all to and the next minute they're packed up and gone. No more talking like last time. No more secrets to be shared among. No more best friend.

The ugly truth is that people change. No matter how you try to deny it or cover them. They change. They move on to better people. They leave you behind.

Thing that confuses me is that why would you wanna be friends with a person you don't actually like in the first place. If it was me, I just would really rather ignore that person. Better than stabbing them in the back and have a whole load of shit happen innit. If you didn't like that person or never will, then just steer clear. Don't be friends in the first place. It would be waaay easier. Trust me. Why would you try so hard to be loving and tell a billion nice lies to a person you don't like? Why waste that effort? What is the point. Why would you go around making up rumours or just spreading shit about someone you don't like. A word of advice would be to just shut up if you have nothing nice to say.

To think we were ever friends. No wait, I don't think you ever treated me as a real friend because you don't even like me. Hearing this from someone else even. Well, like I said, I piece together stuff so I kinda did see this coming but I was stupid and naive enough to give people chances. I need to work on this bad habit.

This whole thing frustrates me to the bone! But that's alright, since I'm SO used to it, I'll just shut up like usual and just be all neutral from now on. It would make my life so much easier and stress free. Words will not be able to truly express how I feel so I am honestly just wasting my time typing out this rant but w/e, at least I got it off my chest.

, xx