Food, Fun, Laughter and after feelings.

Believe it or not, I am actually standing while writing this post.

I am so stuffed and bloated I have the urge to just puke it all out now ughhh should not have stuffed myself with food!! I tend to always feel all this regret and guilt whenever I eat too much or eat stuff that I really shouldn't have eaten. Its just insane.

Just got back from Hui's house after steamboat and had a quick shower to get rid of the fried food smell... Unfortunately, it's still in my hair. Though I must say, the food was amazeballs!!! I restricted myself to only the soup part with fishballs and all that steamed stuff and a few fried tofu and fishmeat or crab or something. Surprisingly managed to not get my hands on any meat today! We were supposed to watch a scary movie but the guys didn't bring it so... We just talked and stuff and idk but I think the guys were high on crack or something tonight because they were laughing at everything idek man. I was mainly just a silent bystander... Listening and laughing along whenever appropriate. Invisible 4 lyf yo~

With me on my p and tonight's food loot, I'd have to work extra to get rid of the bloating :\ I honestly hate exercising when I'm having my time of the month. It's just icky. But then, I feel bad and cranky and just plain annoyed that I didn't work out or do stuff about it and have to live with all this flab. I AM SO INDECISIVE IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL.

I noticed that this year I haven't really made a change in my body :( it's actually really dissappointing because I have tried everything and its still the same. I have only managed to maintain my weight but though sometimes it flunctuates up and down. DOWN WOULD BE GOOD RIGHT NOW OK. Ok i won't rant much on this cos it would just be pointless. Just gonna say that I am really pissed at myself for not being hard working and determined enough is all.

I guess this is it for this post. Will update sooner or later!!! Gonna read some fanfics he he he

p/s I plan to have like a horror movie marathon at my home soon when my tv gets fixed he he he

BTW GUYS I AM REALLY ADDICTED TO WATCHING BOB'S BURGERS RECENTLY. It's a really cool cartoon. Google it if you want! Till whenever~

,xx

Confused

Sometimes things that happen in life makes you wonder if true friendship exists. I mean, I don't know about you guys but sometimes I lay in bed and piece together stories or events and try to figure out what that means. Like if somebody doing something means anything or what they're motives are. You can call it over thinking but I guess you can't really argue because that's what people do with their God-given brains.

Right now, I don't think I believe in the term "best friends". I mean, it sounds so alien to me now. What does that even mean? Honestly, you can't really have best friends anymore in this generation. People just step on you until they're above you and stomp you right down to the dirt after they're done with you. I don't believe that there will be that someone who will always be brutal honest with you anymore. It's really rare to get a best friend now. Though, I'm not saying there aren't exceptions out there but right now, it sure seems like none. One minute you have a best friend who you tell all to and the next minute they're packed up and gone. No more talking like last time. No more secrets to be shared among. No more best friend.

The ugly truth is that people change. No matter how you try to deny it or cover them. They change. They move on to better people. They leave you behind.

Thing that confuses me is that why would you wanna be friends with a person you don't actually like in the first place. If it was me, I just would really rather ignore that person. Better than stabbing them in the back and have a whole load of shit happen innit. If you didn't like that person or never will, then just steer clear. Don't be friends in the first place. It would be waaay easier. Trust me. Why would you try so hard to be loving and tell a billion nice lies to a person you don't like? Why waste that effort? What is the point. Why would you go around making up rumours or just spreading shit about someone you don't like. A word of advice would be to just shut up if you have nothing nice to say.

To think we were ever friends. No wait, I don't think you ever treated me as a real friend because you don't even like me. Hearing this from someone else even. Well, like I said, I piece together stuff so I kinda did see this coming but I was stupid and naive enough to give people chances. I need to work on this bad habit.

This whole thing frustrates me to the bone! But that's alright, since I'm SO used to it, I'll just shut up like usual and just be all neutral from now on. It would make my life so much easier and stress free. Words will not be able to truly express how I feel so I am honestly just wasting my time typing out this rant but w/e, at least I got it off my chest.

, xx

A whole lot of stuff

Hellooooo. Before I write this post, I shall just make a quick checklist about its contents lol ok so,

• new hobby
• new phone cases
• aching fingers
• pokemon, Legend of Korra
• feelings(shitty as per usual)
• jogathon
• sports day

So basically those are the stuff I'm gonna talk about this post. Btw, my fingers are either numb or in pain. Or maybe both. I'm like typing with my right hand only now because it hurts a ton when the tip of my left hand fingers touch anything ;-;


Guess you're probs wondering why my finger tips hurt. Well, recently I decided to take up a hobby and hopefully it'll blossom into something I can be good at. I started playing guitar! Well technically not just started...I mean I played before but only for a month or so because I was fed up with the teacher because she made it soooooooo boring. Now I'm playing again but learning at my own speed(which is if I do say so myself, way, way more relaxing and fun then having a boring guitar instructor). Plus acoustic guitar is easier to self learn....I think. Well that's what I heard from many people anyway. I promised myself to finish learning guitar so that I would be able to use it as a form of relaxation and entertainment. Also because I really wanna be good at at least one instrument or I'll feel super nubby... look!

My new baby(but I have many babies e.g. my phone)(ok that sounds kinda wrong...but yeah)

Started shopping on ebay with dad! We are suckers for phone accessories. Bought like two cases and hopefully going to get more soon. One of them arrived yesterday! It's the retro US flag cover. Love, love, LOVE it to bits! Waiting for my Stitch! cover to arrive soon... I am in nerves because I'm not what you would call patient...?

YAY

Umm so like, if you've been reading my tweets, you would know that I recently got addicted to pokemon(again!) and also Legend of Koraa(which I am sad because I've finished the first season and I have no idea when season 2 is coming out). Playing pokemon pearl now and hoping to finish soon. Gotta reach my goal over the weekend and train my empoleon to level 60/65. Kinda betted with Ambrose on it because he said he would beat me and his is at level 41 now but mine's at level 47 so like yeah. May the best trainer win. Ok you guys just have to watch Legend of Korra ok. I don't really watch animated shows but seriously this one is the best after  avatar Aang the last airbender.

I hate being ignored, looked down upon, completely disregarded, left out, misunderstood, blamed for everything and all that shit. I'm sure everyone hates it. So don't fucking do it to someone else if you don't want to be treated like that. I won't talk about it much because I am not that kinda person. I'll probably rant on twitter though. And I hate how some people can be such a bitch about little things. Fuck you ok. You always think you can do whatever you want to people and they aren't allowed to get mad and stuff then if we do it back to you, you go all ape shit and throw a bitch fit. I am talking bout both guys and girls. Just cause we can tolerate what you throw at us does not mean we like it. But if you want to be a bitch then ok, get ready to be treated like one.

I actually have to sleep real early and sleep a lot in the noon tomorrow because I have a night run to go to tomorrow night. Unfortunately, my p is here so I'm not sure if I'll be running or not. Let's hope my p ends asap by tomorrow and pray to God that it won't rain this heavy tomorrow night! Kinda pumped for it but also discouraged by umm you know, my p lol. Was supposed to go for training but it keeps raining gashjgfashj super annoyed. Plus I haven't exercised or ran in days. I feel so guilty. 

Anyways, busy, busy, busy! Next week is gonna be like super busy! With sports day for three days and a day of senamrobik on Tuesday, we would only have a day of school next week! More time for revision yay(hopefully). No wait...I have duty during sports day ;-; ok so nevermind... at least there won't be homework. Speaking of homework, I have tons to do this weekend!

• english essay
• chemistry report
• add math
• bm tatabahasa
• guitar practice
• revision

I'm packed!!!!!!!!

Ok deep breathes B. 

So that's all for this post I guess. p/s wow my mood during the post changes hahahahaha(if you noticed anyway). Pokemon for a bit then off to bed! 

, xx

Confidence?

I have been doing covers since back in 2010. I've only did like...4? I'm not sure lol. Anyway, point is, I stopped doing them for a while because people told me I wasn't good enough. I believed them. I mean, sometimes even when you say you don't care what people say about you, no matter how much you try not to care, you will anyway(secretly maybe). AM I NOT RIGHT?

So I just posted a cover of Ed Sheeran-Lego House on my facebook...super worried about it because I haven't posted a cover in ages since I was told I couldn't sing. I know I'm not good enough but at least I try hard right(or maybe not)...

Don't you just hate that feeling of worrying what people think about you and not being good enough and stuff like that? I do... it's just idk man it's like ughhhhh(I DON'T HAVE THE WORDS TO EXPLAIN IT OK).

I watched 10 Things I Hate About You yesterday and I really love the storyline!

"Why should we care what other people think about us? Why should we make them happy instead of ourselves?"-Catarina

I mean honestly I wished I didn't have to care about what people say. If you like it, just do it. But no, unfortunately we all care. Even if we don't admit it. We are all hypocrites. And that is the sad truth...

I was kinda forced into the interclass public speaking competition by Mr Samson D: I haven't gotten my script ready and I am here...typing this post...umm yeah... I don't want to go though. I mean I stutter alot when I'm nervous and I can guarantee I'll be the most person with nerves up there stuttering like there's no tomorrow! Plus it's so much pressure...I mean, I have like exams to study for(which I haven't started by the way and I am freaking out!!!!!!!!), boy problems, magazine committee thing, my weight and health. UGH ITS JUST A BUNCH OF BULLCRAP MAN.

Here are a few of my insecurities and stuff that I'm never confident in:

• My body
• My weight
• My voice
• My face
• My smile
• Studies
• boys
• never being good enough at anything
• I think I have no talent(no I am not joking)

Speaking of, come to think of it...I have no talent... I mean everyone of my friends are good in at least something and here I am, not knowing what I'm good in. Sucks to know that everyone has a solid talent or at least something they're good at! I mean, Ivy has piano and her studies and swimming, Xinjie has dancing, Kak has her first aid stuff and her awesome memory, Bev has her confidence in talking and taking new challenges and what not. Look at me, what do I have? I don't do anything! It's so frustrating growing up sometimes. Specially if you don't know what you're good at. I'm bad at sports. I have asthma. I'm not the best person in studies. I can't dance. I don't look like a model. I'm not confident...

All those "what if's" going through your mind...

Honestly this is just a pointless post don't you think? Aaaahhhhhhh I'm sorry for writing a pointless one. This is just to rant and get stuff outta my mind.


,xx

So as I've promised...

Another update for today!

It was pretty tiring actually because I helped a lot with the house chores. Oh! And when i went jogging with dad today i sprained my thigh? Is it even possible lol. Ahh today was very tiring and I'm skipping school tomorrow because it seems boring, the activity planned for us i mean.

Facebook is really getting on my nerves. No scratch that, I mean the people in it. In Facebook you'll always have,

• People who update their statuses every second
• People who post tons of photos of themselves and go "no lar~ i so ugly nerh~~~~~~" when they get compliments
• People who think they're all popular and shit(well okay maybe they are) and get 1654718954854718 likes on their statuses and photos
• People who 'like' everything you post
• People who are always emo and go "i miss eu so much i wanna die already T^T"(and even they get a billion likes i don't even know why) 

There are more, much much MUCH more. It really gets on my nerves which is exactly why i kinda don't go on there anymore. I only go on to check if my cousin or people who actually know me have left any messages or so. I pretty much have already quit the whole Facebook fiasco.

Anyway, it's almost Friday! And the weekend is just around the corner! I'm pretty excited for the trip because I can just chillax while talking with Ivy and Jordan~ The only problem is that I'll be sharing a room with the nub I mentioned before for one night but fortunately Ivy's mom managed to book another room for us on the second night so THANK GOD!

I saw this link on someone's twitter and clicked on it. To my surprise, it was Enrique Iglesias' Hero single! Oh my gosh I love that song! It's like an all time favorite. I have it in my phone and I was planning on creating a playlist for my all time favs but I haven't really made an effort to find all my all time favorite songs so it'll probably take time to fill the playlist up :\

Well i've said quite a bunch tonight. I'll leave this here and maybe find time to update it tomorrow or so! :)