School Day

I know you're gonna be like omfg what?!?!?!?! Did she just titled her post School Day on a Saturday?!?!?!?! Yes? No. Okay well that's good. Um so yeah today was a school day. I guess they decided to replace an actual school day so that we'll have holidays that day... OK I made myself confused as well...

Moving on...

So hi! I just got back from a useless day at school(I'm not joking man. It really was pointless...We only had like a few lessons during the 6 periods there.). Prefect duty was so-so I guess. I don't know man..I didn't really have the mood today. So today was just boring. I don't know why but my class seems so free and stuff. I mean its like the teachers are constantly absent and everything. So we have tons of free periods doing nothing(I honestly wonder how our class is going to sit for the coming exams /facepalm). Pure nothing lol. Condolences to my history teacher and her family. Her dad passed away recently :( she hasn't been in school for a week or so now.

I hate the fact that I can't talk with Ivy as much as before :( Duties are getting in the way of everything! Thank God we have tuition together though... Bright side is Xinjie has been chosen as a prefect too! Best news is that she's in the same group as me!!!!(Yes I kinda prayed and hoped for it hehehehe thank you God for answering my prayers~) But still, I miss Ivy :( it's like niggaaaaaa why didn't they choose you?!?!?!?!?!?! I love you anyways so no worries!

So there's this new girl in my class... I don't know why but I just don't like her(yet). I mean, it seems that she's craving for attention acting all cute and shit with her smile pout or whatever that face is(ew ew ew lala alert). AND she is actually getting the attention. I mean like why wouldn't she pfft, she literally has the whole package(white skin, rosy cheeks, nice hair, big eyes, boobs.........., squeaky girly voice, thin body and all that). I don't know I just find it really annoying how all of the boys(and girls) are going gaga over her(especially a certain someone but let's not go there). Ughhhhhh just get over her will you guys(I know, I know, you guys think I'm jealous)(Idk man maybe I am maybe I'm not)(I can't answer that? lol)?

I hate clingy people. I hate people who back stab you or front stab or whatever kind of stab. If you wanna be my friend then do it and mean it. You don't have to go through the trouble of being a fake one then backstabbing me and shit. I mean, do you not have a life? Do you not have something else better to do with your life than invade mine? Seriously, do you need to stoop so low? I just plain hate people sometimes. If you don't like me or w/e then don't. Just move on and go on with your sad life. I'm not some train station or bus stop for you to stop along the way and hang and then just leave whenever you want to ok. Gosh you people are so immature sometimes. Words cannot describe my hate for you lot. And if you like her more then go lah. Go be with her lah. Since she's so ""pretty"" and ""nice"" and has ""boobs"". Go lah. Just leave before my feelings get the hold of me. I am confused ok. It's like one minute you make it seem like you might just like me just a little and the next you don't talk to me and just give me silent treatments. I feel like screaming in your fucking ear asking you to make up your mind. Don't make me feel this way. It's not cool and I don't want to feel this way. I hate having feelings sometimes. Having feelings make everything more complicated and shit. If only I had a way of locking away all my feelings, I would be so much happier...

I have this fear that she is going to take away everything I love from me. Friends and all... I've heard about her. About how good she is... Do you ever feel that way? Its like, its not jealousy, its just this fear of not being good enough. Of being replaced. Yes...replaced... I don't want to be replaced. I love everything I have now(even if they don't know it but I do)(I cherish all of you)(I especially do not want to lose you). I'm already so insecure about myself... Having her around makes everything worse. Sometimes I wish she was never here(I know its a selfish thought but yes I wish). I won't be able to handle being replaced fgfdsgahjkfdasghkl (I might just die)

I guess that's that for this post. Feeling super shitty right now... I miss talking to Ivy. Nigga I need you but you don't reply my texts :( Not to mention at school you always talk to Pris instead of me nowadays D: Shout out to Xinjie lol(I hope what you said about him is true hehehehehe)


, xx